Be cautious and thoughtful about introducing new people into their lives.
It's likely to be really exciting and fun dating someone new after a perhaps long and tiring separation. However, for your child, this might be another difficult adjustment:
- It could be the first time it really sinks in that you won’t be getting back together with their other parent
- They might feel really betrayed and angry if you have left their other parent to pursue a new relationship
- They might feel worried your new partner is going to try to replace their other parent
- On the other hand they might be really relieved if they now see you happy and in a healthy relationship. Every family situation is different
So what can you do to make it easier on your kids?
- Get to know your new partner properly before introducing them to your kids. Stability is really important for children, it might be really hard and confusing for them to have people coming in and out of their lives. .
- Your kid’s relationship with your partner will take time to develop. Pressuring or rushing your kid into a liking your partner could backfire in the long run.
- Sometimes dating someone new can increase conflict between co-parents and may lead parents into falling into parenting traps. Take time to reflect on what is happening in your relationships with your children and communication with their other parent.
Teens and older kids are likely to have a greater awareness of the situation and potentially have strong views on your new partner. Have gentle, open conversations with them and really listen to where they are at before introducing them to someone new.
New partners can make kids feel conflicted in terms of where their loyalty lies. They might feel guilty for liking your new partner, like they are betraying their other parent. It's important to remind them that your new partner is not replacing their other parent and their other parent still loves them.
