Strategy | Emotion relevant for |
Talk it out. It's important to acknowledge and share your emotions. Talk to someone you trust in your support system—a friend, an Elder or Knowledge Keeper, a family member (though not your children) or someone in your community. Sharing your experiences with friends who may have gone through similar situations can provide a sense of understanding and support. | Guilt, Anger, Relief, Anxiety, Sadness, Jealousy, Betrayal, Shame |
Get help. If emotions become overwhelming, you can’t think about anything else, or they interfere with your day to day life. Consider talking to a professional like a therapist or a mediator. They can provide a safe space for you to express your emotions and offer guidance, strategies and expert advice. You could also join a local support group or do a parenting after separation course. If you have thoughts of hurting yourself, call or text 9-8-8 for 24/7 crisis support. | Guilt, Anger, Relief, Sadness, Jealousy, Shame, Grief |
Take your time. Separation and divorce can take some time, things might not get better overnight. Give yourself time to grieve and then adapt to your new normal. Be patient and kind with yourself! | Grief, Sadness, Betrayal, Jealousy, |
Get creative!! Writing or journaling or even doodling or making art can be a therapeutic way to process emotions and gain clarity. Participate in cultural activities such as beading, carving, ribbon skirt and drum making. These can be both creative and physically grounding. | Guilt, Relief, Sadness, Shame, Jealousy, Loneliness |
Keep it steady. Sticking to your daily routine, such as a regular exercise class, as much as possible provides consistency and structure and can provide a sense of stability during uncertain times. | Sadness, Anxiety, Loneliness |
Get involved! Get involved in your community and give back to others. Connecting with our culture and community makes us feel like we belong to something bigger than ourselves. The feeling of giving back plus the social connection can help counter the impacts of stress, anger and anxiety. | Jealousy, Sadness, Shame,Anger, Loneliness |
Do what you love and reconnect with yourself. Feeling like we are good at something can give us confidence to get through other challenges in our lives and helps us figure out who we are. Dive deep into hobbies or master a new skill! | Sadness, Shame, Resentment, Loneliness |
Practice positive self-talk. Positive affirmations can help reshape your thought patterns. "I choose to be happy and hopeful even though it seems difficult right now." | Guilt, Sadness, Jealousy, Shame |
Get physical. Channeling your energy into positive outlets such as sports, exercise, and engaging in physical activities can provide a constructive way to get emotions out. Get out in nature if you can! | Anger, Sadness, Shame, Resentment, Loneliness |
Be mindful. Learn and practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, or yoga. These methods can help calm your mind. | Anger, Sadness, Loneliness, Anxiety |
Set boundaries. Cut back on extra responsibilities you don't actually need to do, as well as on people and things that do not contribute positively to your well-being. Get comfortable saying “no”! Let people around you know your needs, triggers and things that are making you feel uneasy. Limit your exposure to conflict with your child’s other parent, or relationships that leave you feeling drained. You need to focus on positively moving forward. | Anger, Jealousy, Resentment, Anxiety, |
Take care of yourself. Nourish your body physically and emotionally. Eat healthy meals and try to get enough sleep! Be kind to yourself and do things that bring you joy. Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness. | Anxiety, Sadness, Shame, Loneliness |
Focus on the future. Think of three things you are looking forward to. Set a goal for today, this week, this month and this year. This can help you get out of dwelling on the past and give you hope for the future. | Sadness, Loneliness, Shame |
Distract Yourself. While we can’t run away from our feelings, it is okay and healthy to take a break! Escape for a bit into a movie, books, or binge a show. | Sadness, Anger, Loneliness |
Pause before you react. If you start to feel frustrated and angry, take a break to cool down. Find a quiet place, take deep breaths or yell into a pillow. Think about what's making you upset. When you feel calmer, you can talk about your feelings with someone you trust. Wait 24 hours before firing off that angry email! | Anger, Resentment, Jealousy |
Take a social media break. Social media can connect us but it can also make us feel bad about ourselves. It hurts to compare ourselves to others when we are going through hard times. Especially when what people post is idealized and not always true to reality. Try taking a break. | Shame, Sadness, Betrayal, Jealousy, Loneliness, Resentment |
Practice gratitude. It’s easy to focus on all the bad that is going on. It’s much harder to see all the good. Take a minute to write down the good things in your life, and even about your relationship with your ex, and thank them. "I am grateful for what I learned in my past relationship." | Resentment, Jealousy, Sadness |
Grieve. Whether you want to leave the relationship or not, allow yourself time to grieve. Take some time to feel your feelings and honour them. Take time to say goodbye to the hopes you had and the person you were in the relationship. Talk to a friend, counsellor, or write down your thoughts and feelings. Remember grieving is a necessary step in ultimately moving on. | Guilt, Anger, Relief, Anxiety, Sadness,, Jealousy, Betrayal, Shame, Grief |
Reach Out. Spend time with people who love you and who help you feel energized and positive. Avoid people who make you feel drained, are judgmental, negative, or who aren’t good listeners. Check-in with other people you know who have gone through similar situations, this will help you to normalize your situation and make you feel less isolated. Seek professional help to deal with emotions if you can. Some counsellors provide low cost options so don’t rule it out! | Anxiety, Sadness, Loneliness, Shame, |
Forgive and Let Go. Dwelling on some feelings can get you stuck in a cycle. Forgiving yourself or the person who hurt you is hard, but can feel like lifting a weight off your shoulders. If you are struggling, talk to a professional. | Anger, Betrayal, Shame, Guilt, Resentment |
Embrace your spirituality. It can provide a sense of comfort, support, and inner strength. This looks different for different people. For some it may be embracing ceremonial practices, connecting with culture and Ancestors, or seeking guidance from a faith community. For others it may look more like volunteering, meditating or communing with nature. Tap into your innate sense of wonder, curiosity, and awe, and find purpose and fulfillment in your life through a deeper understanding of yourself and your place in the universe. | Sadness, Anxiety, Anger, Shame, Loneliness, Resentment, Grief |
Schedule a worry time. If you find yourself dwelling or ruminating on negative thoughts, like you can’t stop thinking about worst case scenarios or thinking about bad things that happened in the past, time setting aside 15 to 30 minutes a day to focus on your worries. Put it in your calendar and set a timer. If you find yourself worrying about something outside of that time, tell yourself you have plenty of time to think about it during your worry time. During your worry time, worry all you want! Write down your worries if that helps. When the time is up, tell yourself it’s time to get back to the rest of your life. | Sadness, Anxiety, Shame, grief |
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