Key Takeaway
Parents split up because of problems in their relationship. You are not the reason why they are separating.
They grew apart
Maybe one or both of them changed. It could be that they reached a point where they can't agree on things anymore.
Their values are no longer the same
In relationships, it's important to share similar beliefs and values. When big things happen, how your parents react can show if they're on the same page. If they're not, it might mean they're not right for each other.
Another relationship
If one of your parents starts liking someone else, they might decide they want to end their current relationship. It's hard to understand, but feelings can get really tangled up, and this can be tough for everyone. Just because they're starting a new romantic relationship with someone doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. They're still your parent, and they still love you.
Hard times
Sometimes a relationship breaks down under the stress of problems like a severe illness in the family or a parent losing a job. If there are already problems in the relationship, hard times can be the last straw.
Alcoholism, drug abuse
Being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or other things like gambling can create a lot of issues in a relationship and might make it break apart in the end.
Violence
Experiencing violence in a relationship, whether someone gets hurt physically or emotionally, is a big problem. It might mean one parent has to end the relationship to keep everyone safe and feeling okay, including you.
Maybe one or both of them changed. It could be that they reached a point where they can't agree on things anymore.
In relationships, it's important to share similar beliefs and values. When big things happen, how your parents react can show if they're on the same page. If they're not, it might mean they're not right for each other.
If one of your parents starts liking someone else, they might decide they want to end their current relationship. It's hard to understand, but feelings can get really tangled up, and this can be tough for everyone. Just because they're starting a new romantic relationship with someone doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. They're still your parent, and they still love you.
Sometimes a relationship breaks down under the stress of problems like a severe illness in the family or a parent losing a job. If there are already problems in the relationship, hard times can be the last straw.
Being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or other things like gambling can create a lot of issues in a relationship and might make it break apart in the end.
Experiencing violence in a relationship, whether someone gets hurt physically or emotionally, is a big problem. It might mean one parent has to end the relationship to keep everyone safe and feeling okay, including you.
Remember
If you're not sure what your parents' reasons are for splitting up, you can always ask.
I Have Questions…
How much time will I be able to spend with each of you? Will we have set days?
Where am I going to live?
Why are you splitting up?
Will I have to change schools?
What happens on holidays or my birthday?
What other changes are going to happen?
How will you make sure I still get to see family members regularly?
Will I be getting a step-family?
What will happen to our pets?
Will I have to do more chores?
Remember
Your parents might not have all the answers right away. Things often take a while to work out. Eventually, things will settle down.
Questions and Answers
I have so many questions. How much can I ask my parents?
If there are things you need to know, ask. You have a right to ask questions about what is happening and why.
I came out as trans to my parents, but my one parent is really not okay with it and now they’re getting a divorce. Is it all my fault?
No, it's not your fault! Your parents' divorce is about their relationship issues, not about you being trans. They may be having difficulties because they have different views or values, not because of who you are. It's important to remember that your identity is valid and you deserve acceptance and love. If you're feeling confused or upset, it's okay to talk to someone you trust, like a friend, or counsellor.
My parents are splitting up, and now one of them is dating someone of the same sex and has come out as gay. I feel lost and like everything's changed.
It's okay to feel shocked and confused. Finding out your parent is gay and seeing your family change can be a lot to handle. But remember, their sexuality doesn't change who they are or their love for you. Let your parent know how you're feeling. It's okay to ask questions and talk about what's happening. Visit our Getting Help page or text CONNECT to 686868 to contact the Kids Help Phone.